Many, many, years ago, a friend was considering allowing stay-in house privileges to the elderly cat who befriended her. She never had a house cat and asked me what was it like living with cats? Well, following is my first installment to that question.
If you have one cat, you have a 50% guarantee that he will be of the throw-up variety. If you have two cats, your odds will be 100% that one will be offering you bi-monthly to weekly piles throughtout the house.
- The Pile. Contained, solid, with well defined boundaries, and a defined shape.
- The Spread. A thin, watery veneer spread over a wide swatch of carpet. Also referred to as the invisible slick.
- The Hairball. No explanations needed.
- The Multi-layered. Originates where pussy was sleeping, cascades down the side of the couch, then pools on the foor/rug.
- The stealth. Strategically placed on the path to the bathroom in darkness so you will step into this cold sliminess with bare feet.
- The mummy. Discovered when the couch is pulled back, usually hard as a rock.
- The in-n-out. In she come then out she goes into the same dish.
- The spontaneous. No warning. There she blows!
- The anticipatory. Some indications, as if getting up the momentum to send off a really good one. This type allows you some time to race to and grab that newspaper you had hidden under the couch or was it the chair?
- The projectile. Always initiating from a high place with the purpose of creating an artistic splatter below.
HOW TO CLEAN UP: A SUGGESTION THAT REALLY DOES THE JOB ON CARPETS AND FURNITURE!! Developed by my studio neighbor Margaretha who loves cats and has had ample experience in this matter.
The knife method. The main tools you will be using is a dull knife, preferably a short chief knife, and Nature’s Miracle Just for Cats, which takes care of the smell as well as de-crusting those month old throw-ups that you never saw until now. STEP ONE Scrap in the direction of the pile of the rug depositing as much of the vomit on the blade as possible. Deposit in onto a handy newspaper. Continue until all is removed. STEP TWO Flood the area stained with Nature’s Miracle. Use the knife to move in back and forth into the rug—this will help dislodge any remaining particles. STEP THREE Repeat as in Step One, removing as much liquid as possible. STEP FOUR Blot the area with paper towels to remove any remaining liquid. Voila! The area is now clean for the next time!